Who You Were Born To Be

This is for all those people that want to make a massive change in their life, that want to step into the version of themselves that excites them and scares them at the same time. For those, anyone who wants to live the kind of life that they have always dreamed of, that they see other people living but they don't think that they can live it themselves. It's for anyone that wants to live a non-ordinary life. Now I chose that name for a reason, and not because I wanted to be weird or wonderful or magical or any of that stuff. I just wanted to be able to define my own reality, and that's what this whole process has been about. And I've gone all in on this process. I've developed a whole system around change, and I'm not going to go into that today, but I'm at the threshold of stepping into who I most feel connected to — the version of me that makes the most sense. At the same time it scares the absolute crap out of me, because I'm not relying on other people's version of reality. I actually have built my own. Now I talk about change a lot, and I've always had this notion that I could prove it to you in 30 seconds. But change happens in an instant, and we see it most obviously in the way we change our minds. It happens from one moment to the next. See, the idea that change takes a long time — it's false. But at the same time we can see that it's true, because we've been stuck in situations and modes of awareness for years. So it's a paradox. Both are true and both are false depending on our situation and where we're at. I agree with both. I agree that change can happen in an instant, so you can make minor changes very, very quickly. For major changes I do think that there's a lead-up and a follow-through on the other side. And I've been working on the lead-up to my... it's more than a transformation. I've been working on the transformation side of things, but this is a transmutation. It's a completely different version of myself. To give you an example — I've always... I was a landscape gardener by trade. I've been in the building industry, I've been in the hospitality industry, sales, marketing, I've done lots of different things. The longest job I had was driving a school bus. The reason for that is because I became a semi-recluse. I was using the time in between that to do different things — from working on a farm, to personal training, to working on my own system, my own model of awareness. I could have launched five years ago. Like, that's when I was going to launch, and then I was going to work with people and sort of introduce them to mind-body awareness, introduce them to different ways to perceive life. I guess along the lines of consciousness work, but with a very practical edge — in that I'd figured out quite a bit around the self-healing process, around dealing with things like stress and anxiety and depression, all through basically out of pure necessity, because I had to overcome these things myself. What they're now calling the lived experience. I had a proof of concept. I'd worked in schools, I'd had my own personal training studio, I'd worked with people online, and I'd run a few little workshops here and there. I thought I was ready. And then a question got asked, and that question was: what would people have to know in order to easily work with you? And it threw me. And I was like, oh my god, I haven't done the groundwork I need. And that took me — off and on — close to five years to get it to the point where I can run someone through it now. It's almost automated, it can be duplicated the whole way through. So I kept sort of putting off launching, because I was like, well, it's not quite ready. And you know, I'm not quite ready — that was the big thing. I wasn't quite ready. Like, I'd seen how it worked and I'd mapped how it worked, but because I'd spent all that time mapping and writing it down and turning it into systems and turning it into models, I'd kind of had to come back out of the embodiment of it. So where I'd got to was that things weren't bothering me. Nothing was bothering me. I was kind of — had gone beyond it all. And yet when I went to go and write about it I was like, oh, how... it's kind of... I'm not feeling it. And it was almost like I had to drop back into it. And as life, as it wants to do, things in my life broke down. My long-term relationship broke down and I had to rebuild from scratch. I then came into a lump sum of money and I was like, oh cool, I can — and I took a year off and I developed my system to the nth degree. And I wrote it all out, and I documented the whole process. And I was like, I can't launch it now. It's like, it's all well and good to say that this stuff works if I'm sort of in a really — you know — have a security blanket around me. So I held off, and I held off, and that lump sum went down and down and down and down and down. And then I was like, well, I need to show that this system and these models can work under pressure. So I got another job as a bus driver for public transport, and that's a highly stressful job in certain ways, in many ways. And I just applied — all this time, with everything that happened, the only thing I had was my own system. And I just would apply that. I didn't have any kind of support network, due to all the things that I'd had to deal with myself. I'd become a semi-recluse in a way, and so I didn't really have a support network. And so I had to rely on myself. And I got myself out of every situation, and I learned more and more and more about my own system, about how it was applied and about how to live it. Because every time I went to write about it, I'd drop out of it. So I had to slowly bring it all back in and slowly embody it all. And while I was driving the bus, I did it. I got to a point where — it's hard to explain — but I was in a... not a blissful state, because that gives it almost the idea that it's like this amplified, kind of way-out experience. But it wasn't like that. But it was definitely a heightened state of awareness. It was an open state, let's put it that way. And I was able to keep that state open, and in what I call a dynamic state of awareness, the whole day. It took a bit, you know, and there was lots of stress and sort of frustration of being caught in traffic. In the end that got the better of me, but I'd figured it out. I'd figured out how to change my state of awareness when I got stuck in certain negative states. And I learned how to keep the neutral state — how to stay in that — and then how to keep my state open. That was the key. So that I was not reacting to things. There was this two-way communication happening at all times — I was observing and experiencing at the same time, and acting. And then I lost my job. Now I take full responsibility for that, obviously. I've never been fired before. It was an unfortunate incident on the bus that I learned from. The morning before it happened — this is when I sort of cracked this state — I'd been on holidays and then come back, and I'd had to rebuild and re-embody this open state of awareness. And that morning I'd figured it out. And then I got caught in the mother of all traffic jams. And yeah, I felt trapped. And I was like, oh my god, what am I doing here? Like, I've just had this almost euphoric experience over the last two days, and now I'm stuck in traffic. Am I really meant to be here? And the next day I was — yeah — I was fired. So anyway. But I was like, okay, well now's the time. And this is going to sound very weird to most people, but I had everything ready to go and it was like I was in a holding pattern. And it was like: well, the biggest test of your system is if you could come from nothing. If you could make this work with nothing. Now, as mentioned, I do not have a support network. I don't really get along with my mother. My dad's in England. I've kind of become semi-reclusive over the years. I don't have many friends. I definitely don't have anyone that can bail me out financially at all. And I have pretty much got the next fortnight's rent covered, and that's it. And I've been in this holding pattern, and it's like — I do things every day. Every day I'm doing something. I build models of awareness that people can use to shift their states, and I've come up with different ways to do that. And I've been posting on social media, and I've been putting a business plan together to give demonstrations to businesses. And I've basically been whittling everything down — and that's been the hardest bit — to simplify, and simplify, and simplify. How can I make that simpler? How can I make that easier to understand? And just the other day — it was literally just the other day — I wrote down the exact progression to enact change in my system. And instead of being all excited, it just settled. And I was like, okay. It's ready. I'm at rock bottom. And so I have every reason to be stressed, overwhelmed, feel like a failure, and have zero hope of getting out of this situation — let alone launching a system of change, which I'm going to have to educate people on. Because this material that I've been working on, while it might seem simple — it's taken me 10 years to simplify it. It's taken me 30 years to figure it out. It's taken me three years to get it into a format that anyone can follow. And it's taken me one year to re-embody it all. So I have a huge, huge mountain to climb. My goal is to reach a hundred million people. And I'm not kidding. It's not impossible — not with what I have. And I know it's a bold claim to say that I've developed something brand new, but I have. I've done my due diligence. I've pretty much had ChatGPT and Claude both scouring the internet to see whether what I've come up with exists. And it doesn't. There are bits and pieces. And yet when you look at it and see how simple it is, you'll be like, oh my god — it can't be that simple. And yet it is. So — change can definitely happen in an instant. But oftentimes we kind of jump straight into wanting to be this different person and try this different thing, when we kind of need to wind things back. And that's what I've been doing. I've been winding everything back — all the sort of roads or paths that I've been down, and all the patterns that I've been stuck in. That's the healing process. It's coming back, bringing that by the return path, I call it. The path that takes you there is the same path that can bring you back. Once you come back — and this is three phases. Everything I have is a model, a model of awareness based on a system. And the simplest system is three parts. So I had to simplify everything down. Everything I might introduce or put forward has a bare minimum of three parts. So this has three phases. The first phase is to get relief — to come back into the neutral state. All the patterns and everything that you're living through now are highly charged, and so you have to kind of wind those back, get rid of all the charge, come back to neutral, and reconnect with who you are. Not the version of yourself that's got all these beliefs and all these experiences that have kind of screwed with the way you look at the world — all the accumulations of trauma. And I don't mean that in a massive sense. I just mean the everyday sort of struggles that we go through with life. The stress and the anxiety and the depression and all that jazz. And not knowing who we are and why we're here. Once you wind all that back, you get into what I call the neutral state. And then that's where you can build from. And then you need to connect with — who are you, really? You can look at other people and go, yeah, it makes sense that that person's doing that job. That's kind of what I would expect them to do with their skill set and the type of person that they are. But how often do we try and figure that out for ourselves? Or if someone's doing something — you know, why are you doing that? You'd be like, well, why don't you go and do what you've always wanted to do? Like, you'd be perfect at this, that, or whatever. The same thing can be said of you. And so I started to sort of play with this and go, okay — what would be the biggest version of myself? And I said, well, the biggest version of myself would release this material, and they would go out into the community and face-to-face talk to people. So that's where I'm at. That's what I'm going to do. I have flyers made up. I spent $200 that I didn't have to develop some flyers. I've put together a little five-minute demonstration of how to shift your state. You can shift your state in 30 seconds. And in the remaining four and a half minutes, I show people how to slow down that process and learn it for themselves. If you go to my website at nonordinaryliving.com, the first two videos are exactly that — how to shift your state, what it feels like, and you get a felt sense of a shift in your awareness that happens and can happen instantly. But like I said, it's the lead-up that often takes time. And the follow-through. Which, yeah — obviously we're not at the point of instant manifestation of our desires, so it has to build in its own time. So this is my testament. My recorded way to bear witness to my own becoming. Because as of right now, I am, if not at rock bottom, pretty much circling the drain. And now it's time to act. And I'm not acting out of fear. I'm not acting out of any sense of false bravado. My system is stabilised. I'm trusting in my own process. It's going to take action to embody this, to manifest this. It's going to take consistent action. But I have my message, I have my means, and I have the ability to move and take action and respond. And so I'm going to be putting my own system into practice to promote and sell my own system. I am the work. The work is not something that's abstract or out there. My system is a reflection of who we are as human beings — our capabilities, the processes that we have available to us, and the energetic nature of our systems. Our mind and body are perfect representations of energetic reality. And we have those as tools and gauges to not only read life, but to write our own life. To define our own reality. And to become the version of ourselves we were born to be. Because I firmly believe that each and every one of us — and I don't mean this in a like, oh, you're here to save the world or anything like that — it's as simple as this: whatever you were born with, that energetic signature that you were born with — I honestly think it's all we're here to do. Is evolve that. And not by any huge amount. Unfortunately we get shown pictures of people like Elon, and the like, who — you just tend to think all that success means you have to build a billion dollar company. I don't think that's it at all. And I know it's tricky, because I'm trying to reach — whatever — I have a big game that I want to play. But if I didn't have the life that I've had to lead, I probably would have, and probably would still now, choose a much simpler life. Because what I'm trying to do is not — and has not been — easy. It's been, to be quite honest, it's been hell. It's been 30 years of hell. One foot in heaven, one foot in hell — let's balance it out, because it hasn't all been bad. But it's been hard. It's been difficult. It hasn't been that much fun, to be honest. And I've had to sacrifice a hell of a lot in order to get the understanding that I have, and to take responsibility for it. And there are so many things that I'm introducing. It's not as simple as — oh, well, I'm a builder, I can build you a house. You know, I go to these sort of business meetings and people say, oh, I'm an event coordinator, I'm in marketing, I'm this, I'm that. I don't have that. I don't have that message bottled in that kind of way. I have a system for change. A system for healing. I have built models of awareness that help you to shift your state. I help you to take complex emotional states and simplify them. I have a way to use mind-body awareness to navigate and to settle your nervous system and your energetic system in a way that you can connect with a different version of reality — one that's more familiar, that you can probably remember being in as a child. And once you connect to that, things start to make sense. Things start to unravel and open up to you. And it becomes a matter of following the very next step — the very next moment, what's happening in the very next moment. And you'll have choices and decisions to make, but you'll already know the answer. You know — that doesn't make sense to do that. Well, this lights me up. This animates me. And going and having the confidence — that builds and builds and builds — to define your own reality, choose your own path, do the thing that you're here to do. Is it easy? It's simple. I wouldn't say it's easy. But it's simple. Once you learn to simplify, it becomes a matter of — well, it's obvious. That's the next step to take. It might make complete non-sense in terms of what everyone else thinks you should be doing, or the way we should be doing things. But it makes sense to you. And this makes sense to me. It makes sense for me to put everything into this. Anyway. This has been my testament. I don't even know whether anyone will hear this. But it's been for my benefit — to voice what's happening with me at the moment, and to sort of take a stand. That it's time. It's time for me to launch. It's time for me to put it out there. And it's time for me to become the person I was born to be. ---